Dark Paradise
by BTRLoganLover123456789
Summary: Jagan song fic based on Lana Del Rey's 'Dark Paradise'. Warning this is a death fic.


Jagan song fic based on Lana Del Rey's 'Dark Paradise'.

Bold italics are lyrics. Italics are James' memories.

_**All my friends tell me I should move on,**_

_**I'm laying in the ocean singing your song.**_

_**Loving you forever cant be wrong,**_

_**Even though you're not here, won't move on.**_

_**And there's no remedy for memory,**_

_**your face is like a melody,**_

_**it wont leave my head,**_

_**Your soul is haunting me and telling me i'm fine **_

_**but I wish I was dead.**_

James sat drunk on the beach, letting the waves crash gently over his body. It had been two years and it still hurt, as if it had only happen yesterday.

James thought about the time when He and Logan had become more than friends.

_James sat at the table playing cards with Carlos. Kendall was out doing his normal stuff with Jo, and Logan was probably doing his usual nerd stuff. James was getting frustrated with the game. This was the fifth time Carlos had beat him. "Dude, are you cheating or something"? James huffed at Carlos throwing his cards down on the table. "No you just suck"Carlos said before getting up and doing a goofy dance, while singing Lady GaGas pokerface. James laughed at his friend. _

_That's when Logan came out of his room, pool ready. And James lost his train of thought. James had been crushing on Logan for a while now, and a half naked Logan never helped anything._

"_I have to go do something, out there"James abruptly pointing to the apartment rushing off._

_He went to Palmwoods park. 'This is getting ridiculous' James thought to himself._

_He was interrupted by Carlos. "Dude,whats going on with you lately, you get all weird when Logan is around" Carlos asked James, sitting down next to him on the grass. "Nothing" James said trying to avoid the fact that everything could go wrong when you're in love with your best friend. "It's not nothing,James, you can tell me anything, you know that"Carlos replied. "Fine but you can't tell anyone, not even Kendall and especially not Logan" James answered. He then went into detail about everything thats been was speechless for a bit, before he piped up, "The solution is simple James, just tell him". "I just can't ok"James replied before leaving to go to the arcade._

_Christmas time. James loved and hated christmas. He loved all the christmas memories he had with the guys, but he hated the christmas rush shopping, hence why he tended to avoid malls at that time of year. _

_James and Logan were on the couch playing video games and Kendall and Carlos were whispering among themselves occasionally looking at James, at that moment he knew Carlos had told Kendall his secret about Logan. James sent Carlos a death glare but Carlos and Kendall just grinned back at him like big idiots and shrugged there shoulder's. James did a sideways glance at Logan, God he just looked unbelievably gorgeous sometimes. _

"_Anyway we have some stuff to go grab"Carlos and Kendall suddenly announced. "Okay"James and Logan replied._

"_I'm bored"James stated putting his controller down on the table in front of them. "Me too"Logan agreed. "Wanna watch some movies"?James asked Logan. Logan smiled at him "I'll go make popcorn" he said. _

_James loved watching movies with Logan. He loved the way he could admire Logan in the darkness, with nothing but the flickering lights from the television casting on Logan's pale skin. He loved the way Logan would always lean into him more on the couch when they were watching something and then Logan's head would lean against his shoulder when he had drifted off. _

_James could tell that Logan had been using his Cuda but it was Logan, so he just couldn't be mad at the pale brunette. He ran his hand through Logan's hair, admiring the softness of it. Causing Logan to lean into him more. Logan grumbled softly. "I fell asleep again didnt I"He said to James. "Mhm" James replied softly. He could tell Logan was about to fall asleep again, until Kendall and Carlos came bursting through the door,Rushing over to the couch and shouting "Suprise". James was confused for a little bit until he realized that Carlos was dangling mistletoe over him and Logan. "I am going to kill you, both of you"he gritted at Carlos and Kendall. "Logan we don't have to kiss if you don't want to" James said to Logan. "I, dont, mind,I mean when mistletoe is involved you have to do it right"Logan said sleepily. "Don't hate me"James said to the pale brunette. He worked up some of his courage knowing that if this was his only chance to kiss Logan then he was going to make it count. He moved his hand to the back of Logan's neck pulling him in closer, feeling Logan's breath ghosting across his lips. "ready"? James whispered. Logan nodded at him. James moved forward, kissing Logan softly to start, when he felt Logan respond, he kissed him with a little more pressure, Logan brought his hand up behind James' head running his fingers through James' hair softly before moving in closer,deepening the kiss. Logan moaned and James couldnt handle it anymore. He quickly broke away, jumped up off the couch and pushing past kendall and carlos muttering a quick "Hope you're happy now" and rushing to his room, slamming the door behind him. Not before he heard Logan ask Carlos and Kendall if he had done something wrong._

_A few hours later and James was still in his room and still pissed at Carlos and Kendall. _

_He had his headphones in. He felt the bed move underneath him, announcing the the arrival of another person, he felt their warmth pressed up against him, as they moved their arm over James' body pulling him closer to them. James could tell by the comfort that it would always be Logan. James removed one of the headphones, as Logan spoke softly to him. "I could never hate you  
James" Logan said to just laid there silently. "I don't know if you realize this James, but I love you, I don't remember a time where I didn't feel anything but love for you"Logan whispered to him. James turned around in Logan's arms, "I love you too" He whispered._

_**Everytime I close my eyes, It's like a dark paradise.  
No one compares to you  
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side .**_

_**All my friends ask me why I stay strong  
Tell 'em when you find true love it lives on  
that's why I stay here **_

A single tear rolled down James' cheek. Sometimes he would see people who were a spitting image of Logan. Sometimes he found a lot of similarities in other peoples personality's.

He did'nt know if he would move on. He knows Logan would have wanted that for him.

"_Looking sexy as ever,anyone would think you have a hot date,or something"Logan smirked at James. James moved over to Logan, threading his fingers through the loops at the front of his boyfriend's jeans, pulling him in closer. "Or something"James repeated, smiling at Logan.__ "Kiss me" Logan told him, James did as he was told. __They kissed lazily, then with more and more urgency. James waited for the moment where Logan would move his hand from the back of his neck and thread his fingers through Jame's hair. It was something Logan would always eventually end up doing while they kissed, and James loved it. He loved the way Logan could make any kiss feel like the first time, even if it was just a peck on the lips. He loved the way Logan could put so much emotion into their kisses. James loved everything about Logan. Logan moaned, and yeah,James LOVED when he did that. "Love you,James" Logan whispered to him,his voice breathy. Logan's pupils were blown with lust and love. "Love you too,baby boy"James replied to him._

"_Lets go take a walk around Hollywood".Logan agreed. Realizing that they had never really taken the time to look at their surroundings. Not knowing that today would be the day everything came crashing down around them._

_Logan and James walked hand in hand. Talking about different things. Laughing and joking. Pointing out things to compare the differences between here and Minesota. "I love you"Logan said to James. James smiled "I would never get tired of you telling me that, and I love you too"James replied. "Forever"? Logan asked. "Forever"._

_The sounds of screams and the screeching of brakes filled the air. James felt himself being pushed._

_He screamed. "Logan"! Logan's body laid lifeless on the ground in front of him. He fell down beside Logan, telling him to wake up. That somebody could fix this. But Logan remained still,and James broke down._

After that day,everything changed. The band fell apart and so did the boys friendship. He missed Kendall and Carlos sometimes, most of the time. But he was a jerk to them the last time he saw them. Thought that maybe they wouldn't want to see him again. James walked up to the shore and grabbed his phone.

He texted:

I need you,I'm at the beach.-James.

_**But that there's no you, except in my dreams tonight,  
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight**_

There's no relief, I see you in my sleep  
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me  
There's no release, I feel you in my dreams  
Telling me I'm fine 

James heard the footsteps behind him. "Hey buddy" Carlos said to him. "I'm sorry.I just miss him so much" James said to his friend. "I know you do buddy, we all do"Carlos said. "I just wish I could hear his voice, his laugh, see his smile. He was so beautiful. Sometimes I wake up and go to hug him and then realize that he isnt there"James stated. "Don't you think Logan would want you to move on"? Carlos asked. James ran his fingers through the sand beside him. "He would want me to be happy"James agreed. "Well then, lets get you home" Carlos said to him. Standing up to help James off of the sand. James looked out to the sea one last time. "Lets Go"

_**Everytime I close my eyes, It's like a dark paradise.  
No one compares to you  
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side .**_

_**60 Years later:**_

_James felt the warm sun on his skin. He looked down at his hands, he was young again. He smiled, and looked out to Logan. His soulmate. _

"_You waited for me"James said to Logan. "I would have waited forever if I had to James"Logan said grabbing James' hand pulling him over to a picnic that he had laid out. Just like their first date. "You remembered"James smiled in disbelief. "There's not one thing I would have forgotten about you James. Both boys laid down on the blanket. Logan snuggled into James' side resting his head on James' chest. James smiled "I love you,Logan" He said to his love. "Love you too,baby" boy. And the sun set down on their perfect love._


End file.
